As I stand here on the base line, racket at the ready, I am wondering how I can return the serve of my good friend Pete directly into his nose. That would be neat!
The great irony of tennis is that it brings people together to learn its techniques and share its rigors and rewards. But ultimately, it pits friend against friend in a furious struggle where cunning, subterfuge and physical force are routinely employed to inflict defeat. And if the defeat can be tinged with humiliation, so much the better.
Tennis differs from boxing, karate and street brawls in that the opponents, though swinging furiously at each other, are separated by as much as 78 feet and from time to time during the combat, will compliment each other about “good shots.” On the other hand they will loudly proclaim their opponent’s faults.
Doubles tennis differs from singles in that the court is nine feet wider to accommodate two extra combatants and to prevent them from striking each other. There is no actual rule prohibiting a player from intentionally striking an opponent or partner with a racket. This is covered by local assault and battery ordinances.
Mixed doubles is exactly the same as regular doubles but sometimes involves marriage counseling.
The typical amateur player will probably never be in a match regulated by officials. Therefore, a player must rule on whether his opponent’s serve or return has landed inbounds. This can place great demands on eyesight and judgment, not to mention conscience.
Did that ball touch the line making it in bounds? The match would be over and you would lose. An immediate call is required. “OUT!” you shout, but did you mean “out of bounds” or “out of reach”?
Tennis fanatics experience a gradual shifting of values over the years, perhaps not in the direction of reality. They are serving a jealous god that demands physical and mental skills, stoic resistance to pain, social discipline and the adaptability to play on outdoor courts year round regardless of monsoons and snow drifts that obliterate the side lines.
They can be forgiven for placing too much emphasis on tennis excellence like the two players discussing an absent friend at a West Orange racquet club: “I hear Ralph got promoted to president of his firm,” one said. “He deserves it. He’s a brilliant engineer and administrator.”
“I agree,” the other said. “It’s marvelous. He’s been able to raise a wonderful family and still have time for his career and community work. There’s talk about him running for Congress and did you ever see his prize winning paintings?”
“Yes,” he’s an amazing front-running individual, but have you played against him lately? Did you get a look at his backhand volley?”
“Yes, it’s pitiful, quite hopeless. Poor Ralph!”
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