It’s becoming difficult to define “Mama” precisely with so many mothers now occupying well-earned positions of expertise and authority.
It’s also difficult to define the modern “Papa” who has been tagged for centuries as the “breadwinner” whether he liked it or not. Things have changed.
Since year one, when a man decides to marry, his family becomes his top priority. How could he possibly rank his wife and children lower than the high profit margin of his employer, Watchamacallits Inc.”
So what is a modern Papa and what’s expected of him? With so many millions of fathers since Neanderthal days, the variety defies description. There are, however, certain universal father traits that transcend time and geography.
Most fathers are worrriers, down deep at least. Fatherhood, expected and hoped for, still comes as a profound shock to the typical male. He may react to the announcement of his impending paternity with outward calm and even bravado, but there’s a definite tinge of apprehension. As much as we smile at the stork stories, it’s easier to swallow than the realization that humans can create other humans.
Once past his heart-thumping meeting with his new child behind the maternity ward window, a father suddenly realizes what he has wrought and what are the possibilities. This tightly-bundled beauty from heaven could live more than eight decades and profoundly affect the future of mankind. This six-pound brand new person might become President of the United States, the first human to land on Pluto, a Nobel Prize winner, a famous author or athlete, or all of the above if guided in its formitive years with the right blend of indulgence, encouragement and discipline. But what is the right blend?
In the first 21 years this new offspring will consume almost 23,000 meals, will continuously outgrow perfectly wearable clothing and need much expensive schooling and medical treatment. Fatherhood usually wins out over swingerhood.
Fathers of active little boys learn to believe in guardian angels. Since most fathers are just taller little boys, they can deal with this. It’s their little girls that do them in. These miniature women possess all the mystifying wiles and charms , all the bewildering logic and the same powerful leaky tear ducts that full-grown females use to get things done.
There are two important events a father must face: When his son gets a car and when his daughter meets her boy. After many instuctions, warnings and threats, the son and his car are left in the hands of his guardian angel and, hopefully, a well-designed system of radar traps.
The daughter’s boy friend is first regarded with suspicion and hostility. Attempting fairmindedness, the father remembers he was once just like this gangly, squeaky-voiced kid and he tries to recall his own attitude back then. When he remembers, the suspicion and hostility increase.
Worry is the common denominator of most fathers, but actually, mothers are the champion worriers and know how to handle the anxiety. Many fathers don’t have the capacity. Their safety valves are always popping to relieve the pressure. These noisy outbursts are often misinterpreted. But of all the definitions of love, none say it must be quiet.
Imagine That 