I thought I’d do a little bragging down at the senior center. “Maybe you’ve heard,” I said to my pal Paul, “I’ve got a blog.”
Paul looked a little startled, just the effect I was hoping for. “Don’t worry,” he said. “My brother-in-law had one of those. It’s a simple procedure and after a week or two in rehab you’ll be as good as new.”
Hi: You might remember my “Imagine That” columns in North Jersey Media newspapers. I wrote a weekly humor column there for about 16 years before being downsized recently. If you missed all 832 columns, that’s okay. I can understand you were busy with important things. If you’re very old like me you might remember my earlier “Gene Newman’s Journal” columns in the Citizen of Morris County and a few humor pieces in the New York Times Sunday editions. Now and then a reader would tell me I had sometimes made him laugh at the end of a difficult day. That’s really what I’ve always had in mind.
I had hoped I had a lifetime assignment and wanted to die with ink on my fingers or at least correction fluid. Now, after several unpublished weeks I’m beginning to experience withdrawal symptoms. If you were one of my loyal readers and have recently noticed periods of involuntary twitching, maybe I can help. I’ve signed up to publish this online blog and I’ve read volumes of detailed instructions assuring me it’s a simple operation. So I’ll give it a try.
Please stay tuned to this station and let me know what you think. I’m sure to make some technical mistakes. When I was a kid they were still sending messages with carrier pigeons and a computer was the guy behind the grocery store counter who itemized your bill on the outside of a brown paper bag.
Sincerely and nervously, Gene Newman