When the cell phone tidal wave hit, at first I swam against the current but eventually my wife convinced me to join the flow and I convinced her the whole idea needed a little tweaking.
Trapped in a morning traffic jam driving home from the ShopRite, I, the retired guy, tried to look like one of the angry stalled commuters who were cellphoning their reports of unavoidable delay and also giving me dirty looks for being part of the jam.
Reaching into one of my grocery bags, I pulled out a can of sardines, and shouted “I’ll be late for the executive board meeting.” The sardines had no comment, but the very old guy in the next car seemed to have the same idea and was haranguing a subordinate through a can of beans. I wished I could read lips.
I also wished then, that I could be as adaptable as my wife. “Think of the cell phone’s value in reporting an emergency, ” she argued. “You can immediately contact the EMT’s”
She was right of course. I had no real rebuttal, but I tried anyway, “What about a flare gun parachute to add longevity and altitude to a plea for help?”
“But sweetheart, ” she countered, “Think of the minor nuisance of a cellphone ringing in a crowded theater against a parachute flare accidentally ignited in the balcony.”
“Okay, dear, you win. Flare guns are out for indoor emergencies, but there’s another big problem with cell phones that bothers me.
“With so many carrying cell phones in pockets and purses, telephone booths have almost disappeared. They should require booths be installed in stores, malls and other public buildings and insist cellphoners step inside to make and receive calls without disturbing everyone else with their conversations, the way it was in the good old telephone booth days.”
“I agree with you, Dear,” my wife said. “Why should patients in a waiting room have to get involved with someone’s picayune problems when they’re awaiting their X-ray results”?
“If they’ll solve that one, it’ll also get rid of the other , the Clark Kent one that bothers me,” I said.
“The Clark Kent problem?”
“Yes. Clark lost all his convenient Superman changing booths. If the idea of required indoor cellphone booths catches on, he’ll be able to switch privately again. “
Imagine That 