“Let’s have a cozy cookout this evening, ” Paul said to his wife Barbara one summer morning years ago. “I’ll pick up franks and rolls on my way home from work this afternoon.
“A good idea,” Barbara said. “And I’ll make a big delicious salad.”
After Paul left, Barbara realized she was out of mayo, so she called her neighbor, Carolyn. “Paul and I are having a cookout this evening and….”
“Thanks, Barbara. Bill and I would love to come, but his cousins from Arkansas are visiting. “
Barbara heaved a sigh of relief, “Well, in that case…”
“You’re a dear, Barbara. I hate to turn you down. We’ll be there. There are only three cousins.”
Barbara realized later she didn’t know what Arkansas cousins ate and were they adults or children? Did they eat something strange like chitlins. “Where can I get ready-to-eat chitlins?” She called Carolyn again.
“Don’t worry Barb, they’re three sweet old ladies, all atwitter with the news and out in the kitchen cooking like crazy. By the way, the Whitneys next door were going to invite us over but when they heard about your cookout, they volunteered to join in, since our three backyards connect. Is that okay?”
“Uh, yes,” Barbara muttered. “Let’s see, I think that makes twelve. I’ll have to pick up a few things”
“It’s more like seventeen, Dear. The Whitneys are minding the Brock kids while Janis visits her mother. But don’t worry about the food. Claudia Mango said if she comes, she’ll have her Cub Scouts do some cooking as a project.”
“Cub Scouts?”
“It’s Claudia’s den meeting night, Dear.”
“Oh, good,” Barbara mumbled, signed off and went out into the kitchen realizing she’d forgotten the mayo again. But a strange inner voice asked, “Who the hell will notice?”
About then, Al Blake from down the street called. “I know how spur of the moment these block parties can be, but I need more notice. I won’t be able to hook up the sound system for about an hour.”
Sound system ?
Mayor Bumkum rang in ten minutes later. “I wanted you to know I’ll be happy to attend your festival tonight.”
“Festival ?”
A rock band exploded as His Honor rambled on (“….people of this fair city….”) “What will Paul say?” she wondered. “How can I explain all this to him? (….”in this critical election year”….) “Paul only wanted to grill a few hot dogs for us. (….”Eager to contribute some wild boar steaks”….) “How can I explain the crowds, the awful music and now I hear fireworks!”
“Wild boar steaks?
The crowd began to thin out around midnight and Paul finally got home through the traffic. He found Barbara standing dazed on what used to be their lawn. “Sorry I’m so late, Sweetheart,” he said. “The neighborhood roads became parking lots. What happened?”
“It’s very complicated, Dear. Have a seat on that overturned amp box and I’ll try to explain after I heat up your wild boar stake.”
“Wild boar steak?” I was looking forward to a hot dog.”
Imagine That 