This blog is based on the strange story a man recited to me years ago when I was a reporter. Here is a dramatization of the details captured by my answering machine.
The tale begins before sunrise on an August day. A groggy woman reaches from her bed to answer the phone. ”Hullo?” she mumbles, “Who is this?”
“Martha, it’s me, Ollie. You’ll never believe this!”
“You’re right, Ollie, I don’t believe this. Are you calling from the bathroom? I remember you were headed there to brush your teeth not long ago. This had better be good!”
“It’s very good, Martha. It’s wonderful! Let me tell you all about it.”
“Harumph!” said Martha.
“About 10 o’clock I turned off the TV and told you I was going to brush my teeth. You were almost asleep.”
“I’m wide awake now, Ollie. Keep talking.”
“You’ll never believe this, Martha.”
“For your sake and the children’s, Ollie, I’ll try.”
“On my way to the bathroom I remembered to lock up the house and noticed the basement light was on. Just before I turned it off, I saw Junior’s 10-speed through the window. So I went out to get it.
That’s when I noticed Charlie Otis working on his car next door and I went to see if I could help. You know how helpless Charlie is.”
“Ollie, are you at a party? I hear a Frank Sinatra record.”
“That’s not a record, Martha. That’s Frank Sinatra. I’m in Las Vegas.”
“How did you get to Las Vegas? You’ll max out our credit card flying back!”
“I’m trying to tell you how I got here, Martha and don’t worry about money. I happen to have a small fortune. Now where was I?
When I got Charlie’s car started he told me he had to get a very important package to Newark Airport. His job depended on getting it to his boss, Mr Ogilvie. He asked me to go with him in case his car broke down again.
Poor Charlie. I couldn’t say no. His old Pinto was unreliable and he was too upset to drive so I drove him to the airport in our car.
We got to the terminal in good time, but as we entered we could hear Charlie being paged to report to Gate 25 immediately. We were jogging to the gate when Charlie’s bad knee gave out and he lateraled the package to me.
The gate was closing but they let me run down the ramp after I explained the emergency. I located Mr. Ogilvie in first class, gave him the package and told him about valiant Charlie’s injury. He was extremely grateful and went on at length explaining why. I tried to interrupt him but it was too late. We were taxiing down the runway.”
“And that’s how you got to Las Vegas?”
“Yes, in my corduroy slacks, hoody and slippers.”
“You’re in a Las Vegas casino wearing slippers?”
“It’s okay. I’ve affected a convincing limp to explain them. Mr. Ogilvie paid for my round trip and I had a four-hour wait for the next plane and about twenty dollars in my wallet so I started playing the slots. I did prettty well, pretty darned well. Then I tried the black jack table and I just walked away winners again from roulette. What a streak!”
“Winners, Ollie? How much?” Martha’s tone was softening.
“I don’t know, exactly, but it’s around $12,000 altogether.”
“Come right home, Ollie dear. I miss you.”
“I’ll be taking a limo to the airport soon, but I have something to do first, Martha.”
“No more gambling, Ollie. Quit while we’re ahead.”
“Don’t worry about that, Martha. I just have to find a place to brush my teeth.”
Imagine That 